"Embracing every person," the
first of our e3 mission statement, means we relate to one another in
healthy, whole, and Christ-honoring ways. We aspire to relational maturity
which the Apostle Paul refers to in part as, "speaking the truth in
love." (Ephesians 4:15). But what does "speaking the truth in
love" look like? I have an example from the other day.
A fellow staff member stepped into my
office and asked to talk with me for a moment. They went on to share about
something I had said the day before in a larger gathering. I had conveyed a
negative message to the group I had not intended. I didn't react very well to
the feedback. I was defensive and pushed back, "but what I really meant
was…" Then, after listening a little more I started feeling
embarrassed. I thought to myself,
"Oh, man! I should've known better. What was I thinking?!"
As the sting wore off I realized this
person had offered me the gift of "speaking the truth in love." Their
feedback had three characteristics that we all could practice as we seek to
live in healthy relationship.
First, the feedback was timely. Notice, I
didn't say the feedback was immediate. This was not impulsive truth-speaking.
It came a full 24 hours after the event took place. Enough time had passed for
me to know this truth-speaking was thoughtful and prayerful, not impulsive. At
the same time, the feedback came soon enough that the event was still fresh in
my mind. This person loved me enough to wait. And they loved me enough not to procrastinate.
Second, the feedback was to the point.
There was minimal prologue to the central message. They just got right to the
point rather than beat around the bush not wanting me to "take this the
wrong way." Truth-speaking that's to the point respects the person's
dignity and allows freedom to respond to the content of the message.
Third, the feedback was in-person. It wasn't a text message. It wasn't an email.
This person walked in my office stared me in the eye and told me the truth.
Perhaps one of the most counter-cultural ways we can live out our calling to
"embrace every person" is to pick up the phone or meet in person.
Rather than relying on electronic communication, let's deal with one another
face-to-face in our truth-speaking.
Is the Holy Spirit nagging you to speak
truth in love to a friend, family member, or co-worker? Be timely about it.
Practice the 24 hour rule. Hold the message in prayer. Ask God to purify your
motives. Be to the point. If God has something for you to say, don't put
it off. Get to the point without beating around the bush. Be in face-to-face. As much as is possible
deliver the message in person. Timeliness may require some other form of
communication at first, but follow up with a phone call or a personal visit.
The Apostle Paul promises that
"speaking the truth in love" helps us "grow up in every way into
him who is the head, into Christ." (Ephesians 4:15). This is what we're
striving for. Maturity in Christ is the goal.
